The Drunken Tailgate

It’s Never Too Early to Tailgate

Though Iowa probably lives up to this motto, these shirts are actually made for a large number of schools. So I decided to search around a little and figure out the most ridiculous school that prints this shirt. I feel confident that I have found the winner.

Irony in Iowa

If by “extremely” you mean “not particularly”, then yes. Yes you are.

The Joy of the Cold Weather Tailgate

ChiTownHawkeye from BlackHeartGoldPants puts forth his ode to tailgating. Of course he doesn’t think much of tailgating in the sunshiny embrace of the Southern fall:

But I’ll be honest, I don’t even think tailgating the first couple of games feels truly right. Because the main ingredient in a good tailgate isn’t the food, it’s not the alcohol (although that is a close second), it’s the temperature. It’s seeing your breath. Proper tailgating needs to happen when it’s cold. When you have ice in your drink despite there being no chance that it will melt due to the temperature, because dammit, beer should come from a cooler with ice. Because a bloody mary or jack and coke have ice in them. That’s the way the drink is and you don’t change it just because it’s 40 degrees.

I feel a little sorry for tailgaters down south (Wait. No. Fuck’em all). They can have their “worlds largest outdoor cocktail party” or the like. Those poor bastards in the SEC, Big 12 South, south ACC…they think they know tailgating, but they’re really just standing around drinking. There is no difference to them between having a party inside or outside. They’ll never know the karmic rightness of needing to be drinking as the sun comes up in order to prevent dying of hypothermia (in all fairness, you’ll still die from hypothermia. You’ll just be happy doing it. That’s the difference). 4 layers deep in black and gold clothes. Seats that fit in September but won’t in November. This is the joy of being a fan.

I won’t discredit our early tailgating but the last two tailgates of the SEC schedule in November are often a lot more fun than the rest of the season. Of course the games usually have a little more at stake rivalry wise.

(HT: Tailgating Ideas)

Iowa Tailgatress

The home made shirt is a nice touch but it’s the fact that she’s currently sporting three cans of Busch Light that impresses me. Representing the Hawkeyes well.