The Drunken Tailgate

Gopher? I Hardly Even Know Her

Quick Draw: The Beer Holster

So I stumbled across this Halloween costume from a Wake Forest tailgate. Normally dressing as a cowboy would be a bit of a cop out, but I must say I was impressed with the Leather Beer Holster. Turns out you can buy them from beeroutlaw.com. Their cheapest one costs $29 and you can get one personalized with a college logo for $40. Not a bad way to mosey around campus.  If you were to get a pair of holsters and top it off with a belt buckle bottle opener you could become some type of drunken Billy the Kid.

Whisky Flavored Condoms

I’ve seen niche products before, but Scotch flavored condoms may have set a new benchmark. I mean, what are the odds that these will ever be needed.

West Virginia Pepperoni Rolls

It’s always fun to have some type of tailgating fare that either resembles your opponent or is native to their parts. So pork for Arkansas, cajun food for LSU, gator for Florida, etc.. Trying to figure out a special dish for a West Virginia tailgate was daunting at first. My first thought was moonshine, but I don’t have a supplier at this juncture. I was then told by a friend about traditional West Virginia Pepperoni Rolls. Naturally my head drifted to thoughts of scarfing down Totino’s pizza rolls late at night. The actual pepperoni roll is a homegrown bit of gourmet that was created by miners. For tailgating purposes we found what we believe to be the easiest recipe. Hogan’s Heroic Pepperoni Rolls may not be completely authentic or traditional, but they did the trick for us. I will say that the hardest part of making these is keeping the rolls together during cooking. So much like stuffing a burrito, put less inside each roll so that you can pinch it closed well. Also make sure to place the pinched side down on the baking sheet.

Hogan’s Heroic Pepperoni Rolls

1. Get several cans of Grands buttermilk biscuits. There are eight biscuits per can.

2. Get your choice of shredded cheese. Today I used a mix of Colby and Monterey Jack.

3. For a sauce, I use pizza sauce as the main ingredient and usually mix in a little salsa and Tabasco green pepper sauce to give it a little more zip. Do whatever suits your taste.

4. Roll each individual biscuit out flat.

5. Put a tablespoon or so of sauce in the middle.

6. Plop a little cheese on top of the sauce. (This keeps the sauce from running everywhere while you’re folding up the biscuit later.)

7. Put several slices and/or chunks of pepperoni on top of that, then a little more cheese.

8. Fold the biscuit around the pepperoni and seal all the edges as best you can. This keeps the sauce from running all over while baking. I usually brush the top of the unbaked roll with a little milk. I think that helps make it turn out a nice brown color. You can also sprinkle a little parmesan grated cheese on top if you like.

9. Bake in the oven for the time and temperature indicated on the can of biscuits. I think it’s usually about 350-375 for 12-15 minutes. I usually try to check on them after 12 minutes and decide whether they’re done based on how brown the biscuit looks.

Tips and Deep Thoughts:
I find that if I have my ingredients set up before I start, I can usually put together about six rolls while one batch is in the oven, so I usually bake six at a time using two cookie sheets. When one batch comes out, another goes in, and the assembly line goes on. After a turn or two, you’ll get an idea as to what proportions of ingredients to use.
Two general rules of thumb you’ll find are to avoid using too much sauce and to use as much pepperoni as you can while still easily sealing up the biscuit. The worst things that can happen is that you’ll overstuff and/or overbake and the ingredients will pop out the side, or you’ll underbake and the dough will stay a little sticky inside. The first problem is hard to fix after the fact; the second isn’t. If I can make them, anyone can.

Recipe Source: The West Virginia Tailgating Konsortium

Wake Forest: Unrivaled by Any?

These are not photoshopped. Apparently the entire student body at Wake wore shorts with a WF Football encompassed by the following text “Unrivaled by Any” to their defeat at the hands of Baylor. The words apparently come from their fight song and is not solely the bravado of following up their 2006 season with a couple of mediocre ones.

Winter Conditioning and Spring Practice

After a laborious winter of conditioning we here at Drunken Tailgate are ready to commence with spring practice. We intend to use actual spring practice, baseball games, steeplechases, weddings, and baptisms as preparations for our holy football season ahead.

Nissan 200SX with Grill built into Trunk

My first thought was that this was ridiculous. Then I came around and realized it was pretty cool. Then after looking at the picture a little longer I finally noticed that the front of the car is missing. So this really is the biggest, most elaborate, impossible to move, novelty grill ever created.

Irony in Iowa

If by “extremely” you mean “not particularly”, then yes. Yes you are.