The Drunken Tailgate

The Stacheout

From Uhaps.com comes this delightful find of the “Stacheout” taking place in Athens for the Tennessee game. Though the Stacheout was less recognized by the Georgia faithful than the Blackout against bama, it was infinitely more successful and entertaining.

View more pictures of the Stacheout tailgate

Tailgating at Vandy: Photos

So word came through early in the week that Vandy was not your typical tailgating setup. There were lots of limits on where you could park, set up tents, etc. So I was prepared for an urban and roaming tailgate. Which of course you have to start with a healthy breakfast.

I was all prepared to park a few blocks from campus and roam from bar to bar, tailgate to tailgate, and carry some scotch along with me. However at the last second we came down with access to a private parking deck overlooking the stadium. It’s odd that basically no one else was up there but us. It took away from the excitement a bit, but the view was excellent.

Upon entering the stadium we figured out that you we could see our car from our seats. Which brought up the question: If we saw someone breaking in to our cars, would we leave the game to stop it? The consensus was no.

And one side note. From our seats there were magnolia trees block our view of the down and distance of the scoreboard. Which is an oversight on someone’s part.

Profiles in LSU Tailgating

Just ran across The Tiger Blog which roams around Baton Rouge and interviews and photographs the best tailgating crews LSU has to offer. I roamed and read through their posts and found a couple of LSU Tailgatresses for you.

White Guy Dance Off: Florida vs. Penn State

I especially like the guy who’s randomly chugging Jim Beam from the bottle.

The old guy doing the mosh pit/upside down beer chug at the end is kinda impressive. I don’t know how you even talk someone into that.

Links: Economy?, HD Satellites, and Hawai’i Tailgates

The AP has a write up on how the economy is/isn’t affecting tailgating.

A forum post on hooking up an HD satellite.

Tailgating Hawai’i Style. Doesn’t every tailgate party have someone who caught a fish and then served it as homemade sushi for the game? Wait what? Hmmm, I don’t think I can pull that off. You can’t make sushi out of Brim right? It seems entirely possible that Hawai’i might give LSU a run for their money on unique and tasty tailgating dishes.

“Fresh Ulua (Amber Jack) sashimi. This was caught by one of our tailgaters then prepared sashimi style, ummm it melted in your mouth!”

Tailgating Chronicles: Auburn Brew Club

Before last Saturday’s Auburn/LaMonroe game I had the pleasure of discovering the Auburn Brew Club’s tailgate. When someone pulls a wheelbarrow by you with a cooler sporting 6 beer taps, it catches your eye. The Brew Club is a group of home beer brewers in the Auburn, AL area. They meet once a month to discuss brewing tips and sample homemade brews. The group I talked to seemed to consist of several current engineering students. Which would come in handy with their elaborate tailgating setup.

Though it’s available at Dick’s Sporting Goods, their double awning tent is the first one I’ve seen of it’s kind. We were so impressed we went out and bought one on sale for $200. I’ll have a review next week.

The focal point is obviously the the six tap cooler. I think I’ve had dreams about this before.

A second cooler contains the soda kegs (a.k.a. Cornelius or Corney keg) of home brewed beer. The tubes lead to the main cooler which also contains some sort of device that cools the beer quickly.

The menu is pictured below. If I remember correctly the Saison was a Belgian White Ale that was delicious. The guys were very happy to explain the process to us and even better they offered us all the beer we wanted.

The Joy of the Cold Weather Tailgate

ChiTownHawkeye from BlackHeartGoldPants puts forth his ode to tailgating. Of course he doesn’t think much of tailgating in the sunshiny embrace of the Southern fall:

But I’ll be honest, I don’t even think tailgating the first couple of games feels truly right. Because the main ingredient in a good tailgate isn’t the food, it’s not the alcohol (although that is a close second), it’s the temperature. It’s seeing your breath. Proper tailgating needs to happen when it’s cold. When you have ice in your drink despite there being no chance that it will melt due to the temperature, because dammit, beer should come from a cooler with ice. Because a bloody mary or jack and coke have ice in them. That’s the way the drink is and you don’t change it just because it’s 40 degrees.

I feel a little sorry for tailgaters down south (Wait. No. Fuck’em all). They can have their “worlds largest outdoor cocktail party” or the like. Those poor bastards in the SEC, Big 12 South, south ACC…they think they know tailgating, but they’re really just standing around drinking. There is no difference to them between having a party inside or outside. They’ll never know the karmic rightness of needing to be drinking as the sun comes up in order to prevent dying of hypothermia (in all fairness, you’ll still die from hypothermia. You’ll just be happy doing it. That’s the difference). 4 layers deep in black and gold clothes. Seats that fit in September but won’t in November. This is the joy of being a fan.

I won’t discredit our early tailgating but the last two tailgates of the SEC schedule in November are often a lot more fun than the rest of the season. Of course the games usually have a little more at stake rivalry wise.

(HT: Tailgating Ideas)

The Tailgating Manifesto

Thomas Beisner from Kentucky Sports Radio brings the thunder with his tailgating manifesto:

1. If you’re going to drink, then drink like a man Don’t confuse this as me condoning the consumption of mass amounts of alcohol (but if it’s the excuse you are looking for, then feel free). I am simply saying that if you choose to take part in adult libations as part of your pre-game festivities, then make sure you let your testosterone do the decision-making. There will be no drinking of colored beverages such as cranberry and vodkas, margaritas or hootch of any kind. You will drink beer or you will drink bourbon. Hey, feel free to even throw in a little rum now and again, so long as its dark. And when you drink beer, it will not be an import. It will be domestic and it will be heavy. The cheaper the better.

2. Do not treat a tailgate as a fashion show Dude, I dont care how many people told you those plaid pants were cool when they were hanging on the shelf at J. Crew. They aren’t. And they sure as hell aren’t appropriate for a football tailgate. You wear your team colors. If you need to wear a tie for reasons beyond your control (you’re still a pledge you little b***h), then wear some blue for God’s sakes. If you are trying to make a fashion statement at a tailgate, this might not be your kind of get-together. Try soccer.

3. Sunglasses are a must This is the essential part of your tailgating attire, and not because your future is so bright. The fine Kentucky females will be out in full force with their skirts, their short shorts and the only good thing to come of mixing women and sports - the form fitting football jersey. And unless you want to be labeled the perv with the creepy stare, I’d scoop a pair of shades.

4. Man the grill With emphasis on “man”. Grilling out at a tailgate is not necessary, but just like hitting on your sister’s friends, what’s the harm in trying? The most important thing to remember, though, if you decide to undertake such a mission is that you better be serving beef only - preferably in the form of burgers and dogs. No grilled chicken*. No fish. And for God’s sakes Emeril, no grilled veggies. If John Wayne wouldn’t eat it, then it’s not acceptable.

5. Don’t embarrass yourself Even though it might seem cool at the time, that hot chick from your psychology class doesn’t want to hear about how you always find yourself staring at her in class, and she isn’t going to be impressed by you spelling your name on the driveway with your urine. And your friends little sister? Let’s just say she isn’t going to find your vulgar comments charming, especially through your beer burps. So enjoy yourself in moderation and do your best to remain a classy gentleman for the most part. After all, you aren’t a Louisville fan.

*A recent discussion over these rules has resulted in an amendment that grilled chicken will be acceptable as long as you are not the one eating it and it increases your chances of doing the horizontal mambo. No other excuses are accepted.